The Times When I'm A Dick

Female Friend: Oh my life. Blah blah blah and my ex.

Me: I don't want to know about your man drama.

FF: Why?

Me: Because I might want to fuck you one day and I don't want you to see me as your emotional tampon.

The Rapture Right's View

First 100 Days

From the Onion’s feature on the Obama administration’s first 100 days:

DAY 41: Sixteen hours and 25 cups of coffee into a Treasury Dept. strategy session, Tim Geithner proposes nationalizing CitiGroup, Bank of America, all nine seasons of Seinfeld, toast, Albania, and the third law of thermodynamics.

Video Interlude

Quote of the Week

"If you're worried about getting a job--or keeping one--start a company of your own. By doing so, you'll reap the rewards of your hard work and you'll only get fired if you fail. This is the land of opportunity. Live in it." -- Bruce Campbell

Lowery Stole The Show

"REV LOWERY: Lord, in the memory of all the saints who from their labors rest, and in the joy of a new beginning, we ask you to help us work for that day when black will not be asked to get back, when brown can stick around -- (laughter) -- when yellow will be mellow -- (laughter) -- when the red man can get ahead, man -- (laughter) -- and when white will embrace what is right. Let all those who do justice and love mercy say amen.

AUDIENCE: Amen!

REV. LOWERY: Say amen --

AUDIENCE: Amen!

REV. LOWERY: -- and amen.

AUDIENCE: Amen!"

Tomorrow ...

Will be historic.

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Quote of the Week

"As nightfall does not come all at once, neither does oppression. In both instances, there is a twilight when everything remains seemingly unchanged. And it is in such twilight that we all must be aware of change in the air however slight, lest we become unwitting victims of the darkness."

Justice William O. Douglas

Pick One Up!

AMAZING SPIDER-MAN #583, available in comic book shops nationwide today (January 14th, 2009). Look for the special variant cover by artist Phil Jimenez featuring the President-Elect and Spider-Man!

Make Your Own

I don't like it too much. I think it's too "close up" and the fact that I had changed the original to sepia before I uploaded this (I don't have the true original - pre-sepia) makes it look a bit weird.




Anyways, you can make your own here if you'd like.

Spottt

I was looking through another site and saw an ad with a cute little doggie on it. I clicked on it and it took me to spottt.com. It's a free link exchange program where you get, well, link exchanges with other sites. Every time the "spottt" ad is loaded you get credits and those credits are used to display your ad on another site.

Just wanted to pass it along.

New Rule

Kids who "tag" on homeowners brand new white vinyl fences should have someone come to THEIR home and write graffiti on their property. Chances are they don't own anything of value. So what the hell, why not write graffiti on them? Or maybe their parents can take blame for their poor parenting skills and have their cars written on with funky green spraypaint with the words "crappy parent" written on it.

Help Wanted: Womb

Female needed, 18 to 34 for a 9 month position.
Duties include: getting pregnant, carrying offspring for 9 months in the womb. Healthy eating, no drinking, no smoking.

Benefits: Great sex. Drives to and from doctors office. Late night deliveries of weird food concoctions to satisfy quirky appetite. Give baby to father if preferred. No "baby daddy or baby momma drama".

Qualifications: Sane. Healthy.

Inquire within.

Video Interlude

Watching the news and paying some fleeting attention to the situation in Gaza (I've become apathetic to the struggle between 2 groups fighting over land given to them by an invisible Real Estate broker), I was reminded of Suheir Hammad. I had a class with her at Hunter College and the few times that she spoke she seemed like an incredibly ditzy girl. It wasn't until after college that I found out from a mutual friend that she was a published poet. I still had my doubts about that until I saw her a few years ago on Def Poetry (which is the video above).

Watch it. It's powerful.

We're So Old

So I've been spending an awful amount of time on Facebook these past few days. MySpace is so 2008. I've been getting friend requests from people I went to HS and college with. What I hear from everyone I get in touch with is "OMG, we're getting so old!"

The funny thing about all of that is that I don't feel old (I guess it helps when they keep telling me that I look the same). They're all putting pictures up of the HS days - the hair products girls were using back then is the reason for global warming Al Gore - and for some reason I don't feel like it was such a long time ago.

I wish they'd stop complaining about how old they are.

You're only as old as you feel folks!

Why Some People Shouldn't Breed.

(01/08/09) HEMPSTEAD - An 8-month-old girl is recovering after police say her 25-year-old mother violently shook her because she couldn’t keep the baby quiet.

Authorities say Anna Candanedo was tending to her 8-month-old son Wednesday morning when her daughter started crying. According to Nassau Detective Sgt. Dennis Ude, she picked the girl up and shook her to get her to stop crying. After Candanedo put the child down, police say she realized her daughter was in distress and called 911.

Candanedo was arraigned Thursday on the charge of reckless assault of a child. The twin brother of the alleged victim has been taken away by Nassau County Child Protective Services.

The little girl is in critical condition with internal head injuries, but is expected to be OK. Candanedo is being held on $500,000 bail.

Play the video

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I'll Make This Short...

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!!!

Do They Know It's Christmas?

The original version. Still a classic. And now I feel old for posting it.